And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
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you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm bleeding and have questions
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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