Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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