Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
