You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
