You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
