Your tits are I can't wait for
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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