The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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