Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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