I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
