I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
