Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My breath smells like gin and sadness
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
