Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
