Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
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Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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