I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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