I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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