my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
