i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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