there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
