Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
