i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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