Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
