I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
