dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
