My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
