I want to walk on stilts...naked
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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