Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
