just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
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At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
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So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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