You don't have asthma, your pregnant
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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