i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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