i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
