Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
