glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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