I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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