just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
