Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
