i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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