A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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