I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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