not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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