in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
