Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Randomize
