He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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