That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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