Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
In other news, I just burned my penis
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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