dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize