I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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