you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
