You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
