I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
