I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
