exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
