I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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