he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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