I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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