I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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