I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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