I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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