i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize