I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
