you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
