just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
