I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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