I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
