my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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