Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
