In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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