He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
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you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
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You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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