You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
