There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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