I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
